Thank You for your Generosity – A Moment of Honesty and Transparency from Me.

I haven’t written much these past couple of weeks and there have been a few reasons why.  As many of you know we lost our furbaby a few weeks ago to old age.  I knew going in that we were taking her for her last ride and we tried to relish our last few moments with her.  It was pouring rain and it happened to also be the day before the 4th year anniversary of my father death.  It was just me and my daughter and because of our financial situation most of my trip to the vet was wracked with fear of how much this would cost us and in my mind how perhaps we could come up with the funds to save her life.

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My daughter had taken on a bulk of the care of magic when she started working and would buy litter, food and treats to help out with the expenses. At the end it was her cat she’d had since she was 3 years old and they practically grew up together.  A loving bond formed between the two of them that was incredible and Magic acted more like a dog than an aloof cat.

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When we arrived to the vet after checking her and discussed our options we decided to put Magic down.  It was the humane thing to do as she was almost 17 years old and deteriorating fairly fast.  We said our goodbyes and the vet came in with a tranquilizer after which they would administer the dose of medicine that would send her over the rainbow bridge.   She died in my daughter’s arms without having to get the last dose her body to weak and old to hold on any longer.  Up until that point she had been a fairly healthy cat and we rarely had to make trips to the vet with the occasional ear infection or cold.

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The vet “Just Cats” was very understand and they were great, charging us only for the cremation of magics body $220.  My heart sank at that moment because the understanding was the body would not be released until we came up with the money.  My daughter Gabrielle quickly looked at me and said mom don’t worry I’ll pay for it.

We cried, and we laughed at the memories we mourned her for days waiting to hear from the vet.  What we got instead was an extra charge from my daughter’s university for graduation and there went the money for her ashes.

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Unfortunately and I’ll get transparent on the financial situation in a moment we blew through our savings in order to  help her out with college.  Her biologically father, although he offered to help her, did not step up to the plate and follow through. After we were tapped out financially she had to go through her savings.  Thankfully she’s not only on the verge of graduation but has also made the deans list.

After walking in on her in tears due to the financial strain of school I did what any mother would do and sucked it up to ask for help. And that is where many of you came through.

Creating a GoFundMe page I requested the $220 or any help that could be given in order to retrieve Magic’s ashes.  And what happened next amazed me.  97% of those of you who reached into your pockets to help who reached out to give us words of love and understanding where strangers whom I have either not met or have only known through Facebook.  Sadly many of the people who I know who are family who I’ve help in the past choose to not even acknowledge the request, pass it on or even say I’m thinking of you.   I was met with not only a  deep sadness but a joy beyond comparable means.

Sadness because many of the people closets to me did nothing and joy because of the show of humanity and love many people we didn’t even know showed. So to those of you who helped out and donated who sent me texts, share the page, gave me ideas and places where we could get help I extend a most heartfelt and love filled thank you, thank you, thank you. You know who you are.  To my closets friend Maria the first one who jumped in and gathered her friends to help us, my co-worker Samantha, my daughter’s God Mother Yolanda. my older brother who after she’d made the cut on GoFundMe gave her additional money to help with school and my mom I say I love you all and thank you!

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Now on to the transparency many people believe we are doing well because my coined response to how are you is always “great! things could be better, but we are great!”  mainly because I’ve always had an issue with burdening others with my baggage.  Both my husband and I have been working part time and although he has full time hours he does not have the status.  I am working part time and our income has been cut in half, for the past 3 years.  I was bringing in more funds with my readings and sales of soaps and journals and although things weren’t great we were getting by.

During this time I was also diagnosed with Polymyalgia rheumatica a disorder that causes muscle pain and stiffness. I also am anemic and have a severe vitamin D deficiency that we are trying to manage.  I have my good days and my bad and this winter was really bad.  Most days I struggle just to get into a standing position from bed.  I can no longer walk like I use to and a 10 minute walk can take me 45 minutes.  I’m in constant pain and  sitting for long hurts, standing for long hurts, getting in and out of cars, going out has all become a struggle.  I have kept the bulk of this information under wraps from everyone even my mom and siblings but it’s time for me to share this.

I know there has been questions as to why the unwino merged with Tri-State Review and my husband has taken on the bulk of the coverage, and why I am no longer offering the number of readings I use to or attending vending events throughout the area.  Well this is why and this entire situation with having to reach out for help has taught me a big lesson in love, humanity, caring and transparency in letting others know what is really going on.

So how am I doing?  I’m doing well because I know I am loved and cared for yes things could be better, but I appreciate what I have, health wise and financially I/we are struggling, but I continue to look at things in a positive light and see how when darkness tries to evade my space there is always a glimmer of light being given by those I love and those individuals I don’t even know.

Thank you all again for the support, the love, the donations, the thoughts and prayers and the caring may you all be blessed a thousand times over.

Sincerely,

Me

xoxoxoxo

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2 thoughts on “Thank You for your Generosity – A Moment of Honesty and Transparency from Me.

  1. I’m so sorry to hear of all the struggles you’ve been going through and on the loss of your fur baby. If you ever need someone to chat with about the health issues, I have and been through similar experiences, so I’m here. Take good care. Wonderful to hear how your daughter is thriving. You all are in my good thoughts.

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