10 Ways to Raise a Competent, Confident Child

“The exhausting cycle of constantly monitoring their work and performance…makes children feel less competent and confident.” – Elizabeth Kolbert, in Spoiled Rotten: Why do kids rule the roost? in the New Yorker.

In discussions about whether kids today are “spoiled” it’s common to hear accusations that we as parents are over-protecting, so our kids don’t gain confidence from learning to handle things themselves. This is anxiety-provoking for any parent, because the line between appropriate support and helicoptering is rarely clear. (Isn’t a helicopter parent just someone who hovers more than you do?)We’re also told that failure is good for kids, and builds resilience. There’s no evidence to support that idea, though. In fact, what kids seem to learn from failing is that they’re failures. Resilience comes not from failing, but from the experience of learning that it’s worth it to pick yourself up and try again. That requires at least some experience of success.So are kids today really less confident than they used to be?  Read the rest of the article here


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